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How to Write Your Own Vows
Posted by Nick Coons on
Greetings ladies! Are you planning on writing your own vows for your wedding? You might be a bit overwhelmed wondering where to start. Read on to get some tips and pointers on the fine art of vow creation.
Step 1: Get Inspired
How can you set about creating something unless you first get inspired? Use books and the internet to look at as many different examples as you can to get an idea of WHAT you want and HOW you want it to be. Create a new folder on your desktop labeled "Vow Inspiration" and start loading it up! Encourage your fiance to do the same and then you will both be imbued with the creative power of inspiration!
Step 2: Get on the Same Page
Once you both have a rough idea of the direction you want to go in, make sure that you and your fiance are on the same page. First, you'll want to go over your plan with your wedding officiant. Different churches may have different rules when it comes to vows. Some might not allow DIY vows, and some may require you to recite some of the traditional vows. Once you have done this, you'll then start the process of agreeing on HOW you will both set about writing the vows, and what tone you want to create: Funny, romantic, tear-jerking, etc.
Step 3: Brainstorm your Beloved
We know that sounds kinda funny. Normally you would brainstorm things like new job possibilities, or ideas for other kinds of creative projects. What we mean by "brainstorming" your beloved is: Grab a paper and pencil and jot down all the aspects of your relationship that are the most special to you. What kinds of moments do you want to share with your wedding guests? Where did you first meet? When did you know you were in love? What do you love about him? Write down anything and everything that comes to mind.
Step 4: Dare to Declare
We promise that if you give yourself enough time to do the brainstorming in step 3, and make sure you are thinking about those key moments and memories, it will make the process of declaring your vows much easier. "In sickness and in health, through the good times and the bad," are traditional vows that go without saying. Why not declare something more personal, like, "I promise to let you play Call of Duty in peace for at least 2 hours when you have had a bad day." He could vow something like, "I promise to give you and your gal pals the living room all to yourselves so you can drink wine and watch Leonardo Dicaprio movies, at least once a month."
Step 5: Revise and Refine
Once you have all your vows written down, you'll want to revise and refine it until it is ready for the big day. Try to make sure there's nothing that is too personal. You want to make sure that your wedding guests can connect to and relate to what you're saying, even a little bit. You'll also want to try to cut it down so that it does not take forever to read aloud at the ceremony. A good rule of thumb is to keep it to one minute or less per person.
Step 6: Practice Makes Perfect
Nervous about reciting your vows in a room full of 100 + people? Practice, practice, practice. We cannot stress the importance of this step enough. A lot of couples want to surprise their future spouse by not revealing the vows until the ceremony and end up getting tongue tied and feeling regretful. Practice saying your vows aloud to each other over and over again until it feels comfortable. If you really need to surprise each other, write a separate set of vows and recite them to each other in a romantic, honeymoon setting.
Create a Keepsake
Want to use your vows to create a special keepsake that will last forever? Why not create a frame-able piece of art with them? If minimal is your style, you could just frame your original vows that were written in pencil. Or if you're handy with Adobe software, you could digitally render them onto a photograph of the two of you. The possibilities here are endless.
That's it beautiful brides! Are you planning on writing your own wedding vows? Let us know what steps you're taking and if you have any advice for your fellow future brides in the comments section below!